running the race.

Friday, July 14, 2006

finally, i'm able to break the chain of procrastination for the past few days about making a post!
the week was filled with fruitful events, and it has spurred me to extend my sleeping time by an hour.
apparently, the clock depcits 12.22am. but the bundles of energy still remain unbroken!

i will not deny the visible fact that these few days have been relatively hectic.
hectic in a sense that it doesn't refer to humdrum living.
as much as it draws my physical, spiritual and emotional strength from me, i have managed to smile through it all.
something that i'm rather impressed with myself during this week.
a child like prayer. =)
due to all these ministry, workloads, demands and stuff it has taught me to seek God in a child like manner.
i explained to the all knowing God about the complexities of emotions that runs within me.
irony.
honestly, i felt a great sense of relief by telling God slowly about the happenings in my life. =)
give me this child like heart and mind. =)
and a child like obedience.
the truth is sometimes as we aged, we tend to lose this child likeness towards God.
we allow the inquistive nature to overtake us. and faith is thereby relied on facts.
not that facts are obnoxious, rather we enter to the point of questioning with a heart filled with skeptics.

i met up with eelee yesterday and i told her this, 'I will not want to step down in leading even during my o level period. i still insist on meeting up all my sheep weekly and leading my group! I want to do this to show God's power in my life. seriously, why do i need to wait for last mintue then study and at the end neglecting my people. i rather start consistent work now. i choose to live a life that God is in the centre!'. There is nothing really flamboyant about that few statements but the challenge is to get 6 points. It's seems completely impossible. Initially, my goal was not to get 6 points but just 15 and below. After considering what God has spoken to me, i will take up this challenge. To manage my ministry, family, social friends and yet excelling in my studies without compromising any bit at all. another irony, i see the possibility in the impossibility. see, i'm personally convicted of this, if this jesus thing is real, then i'm dead serious in giving my all. After all, i do not seek to waste my effort in building on something is fake. If this jesus guy is real and the bible is infallible, then i submit to you that i'm not heading for a life that speaks mediocre.

on top of that, i'm looking forward to what is coming ahead of in my minstry few months down the road. i'm anticipating new cls to rise and i want to lead a new aspect of my ministry. =) yesh! intetresting huh. yeah.

been thinking of friendship recently. friendship is not as easy as it seems to me. the complexities to me has transcended all my expectations. =/ alright, i was just talking to someone today abt friendship. sometimes, we know that by saying something to their respective person who that could help them, will turn out to be a detrimental effect to the realtionship between you and the party. i realised that as well. sometimes, people claimed it as busybodies. but the never really see the reason for doing so. so much so, that they claim that you have hurt them and nothing can plaster the relationship back. what about me? honestly, i have friends that stabbed me from the front before through telling the respective person who is able to help me and i admit that i was burning with smoke at then. But when i woke up to my senses, i only learn that he meant care. and i seek to restore the relationship. and yeah we plastered it well. Isn't that simply true about a real friend?
I allow you to know who i really am inside and give you the key to my heart also allowing you to hurt me.
jonathan and david. i'm still finding for my jonathan. the jonathan i once thought i had, has already left.
God, is it so tough to find my jonathan? I pray my jonathan will come soon as i serve you.

alright. these are all my thoughts, feelings and convictions for the week.

anyways. ting wants me to put this, TINGTING IS THE BEST.

oh yeah! we are on our way to 16! his direction, my steps.

davidhoe

till the end;12:23 AM